hey



sorry it's been a while

i've been lazy



but am i really? nahh..

i come up with these excuses all the time.. "busy coz of the exams"
"lazy coz exams are over" but i never really did much for this semester's exams.. dont have the energy anymore.. dont have the motivation



well anyway, exams were over like 3 days ago.



im sorry i talk about the exams a lot but my blog is meant to bored you anyway..



so here's the cut no more exam crap (oh and before that, hopefully i get my marks tomorrow and will be happy about'em.. but there's not much to be pissed about coz i dont really deserve any good marks for them)



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just finished watching bb. didnt want nathan to go coz i see more of myself in him than i did the other two LOL this is saaad but anyway im being true and myself in my blog hahaha.

he wouldve made such a cute couple with Renee (my favourite and also coolest girl name i'd pick)

and just listening to what some people say sparked some thoughts.

is there ever "too nice"?
whats wrong with it anyway?
i dont think anything's wrong with it.. and i dont see why some people should be judged as 'fake' or punished (well..less severe word) for it.

where do i stand?

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anyway, it also makes me think.. why are people 'too nice' or 'nice', but others just aren't?
i dont mean to sound cocky but why am i 'nice'? and why can i do it but some people cant? but somehow im starting to see that it's a problem with me.. not them

coz im stupid and indecisive in what i want or what i do or even what i like

i dont know how im making that bridge there.. but somehow it just seems like thats how it is..

like right now.. i dont knwo what i want..
i dont know what i wana do
i dont know what im interested in
i dont know what im good at.. what potentials do i have?
i dont even know what kind of people i like, or the friends i'd wana make
i couldnt even make clear decisions of who i'd like or dont like in the big brother house.. i seemed to like everyone, and i make everyone allowances of their actions. can this be seen as possimistic, stupid, or both?
i believe that everyone has a little good inside them.. but i think im wrong hahaha

anyway im getting off track.
the point is i dont know where im heading in life, i dont know who i am, others dont know who i am, i dont know others.
will i ever?

it's nice to have a little time to think about stuff like that.. although the results arent always good, at least i have on goal in my life now..
i hope to find out those answers

well one last thought of today:
it was soo cute when renee had teary eyes and said "i dont want to give any points to nate" straight away. and then burst into tears later.
also.. when they were doing the waltz hahaha and they were meant to be like prince and princess.

i actually have so so so much more to write, so much going in my mind now.

but i cbf writing them and i already sound whiny.
so im not about to take it further coz i know that at the end of the day.. im very lucky for lots of reasons.. im just selfish

FUCKED for chemistry tomorrow

sorry not a very interesting post i know should be studying now

8/10

if it wasnt for the freaking last page.. i would've got

10/10

stupid bitch

stupid FUCKING mistake
I freaking wana turn back time to like 7 hours ago.. when i was doing the sac
because i LEFT THE LAST PAGE OUT COZ I DIDNT KNOW IT FUCKING EXISTED

it soudns so fucking stupid i know..
but why today?! i've done like a gazillion number of tests, exams, etc. but never have i left out a page.. until TODAY when it's a SAC that actually COUNTS.

I need to work harder to regain those marks then.. sighh

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Darius and i are gona work harder next semester, and im not joking this time.

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hope i'll go well for my english exam tomorrow..

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I wish you

knew

more.

Vee: u update like once every lifetime..write more~~ u make it difficult to stalk u :[

HAHAHA, well that's your challenge

i wish i have 6 lifetimes... life's too short to appreciate people like you :D
well, now 7 lifetimes

wrong moral judgement.
didn't turn back at first.
unforgivable?

some day maybe things might get better

VCE is the only thing i can prove myself with.. so why am i wasting my time? i dont know.

but i'll make myself do well.. cant guarantee for VCE, but at least for the next set of exams in 2 weeks times, i'll do my best :D

15th may - English
16th may - General Mathematics (A)
19th may - Japanese
20th may - nothing
21st may - Physics
22nd may - Chemistry

pretty awesome timetable. evenly spread out, one free day n the middle, 2 hard ones before the weekend. (also methods sac before all this)

so, if God's given me a chance to do well, with such a perfect timetable, i should grasp it.

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it's sad to be told that ur time is nearly up.. not only for my english essay today, but also for the elderly who are at the 'last stop', their 'last home' as they call it, where they'd be certain to pass away in that 'home'.

so before my year 12 clock ticks away, i'd spend it to the max